Are you parenting a child who has experienced trauma?
Are you parenting a child who has a capital letter syndrome — such as ADD, ADHD, FAS, SPD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder — or another special need?
Have you tried traditional parenting techniques only to have them backfire?
If so, then this is for you!
Traditional parenting is for securely attached children — kids who want to please. Any sort of parenting requires a foundation of connection with the child. That connection comes more easily with kids who haven’t experienced trauma. For those who have, the foundation is absent or shaky, and as a result, the child feels no need to follow commands or listen.
Traditional parenting tends to swoop in and fix the immediate problematic behavior. It is a short-term approach that doesn’t work with kids who have trauma. Instead, you need to take the time to consider the need behind the child’s behavior and focus on the ultimate goal of connection.
Kids who have trauma care more about control and survival. When a child has a disorganized attachment style born out of trauma, he will want to control his surroundings. Control will trump following instructions every time. In fact, the very thing that would make him feel more connected, he will fight.
So how do you parent kids who have experienced trauma? Use "Instead Of" Tips!
*You’ll have some tips that actually work for parenting your kiddos
*You’ll enjoy your kids more
*Leave punishment behind and embrace meeting your kids where they are
*Teach your kids some coping skills that will last a lifetime
*Have a resource in your hand to share with family, teachers, and anyone who works with your kiddos
"Kathleen has been an integral part of my journey to becoming a foster mother and to becoming a better parent in general. Through attending her Empowered to Connect course Kathleen has equipped me with new ways to parent my children. Not only did she provide me with the tools I would need to parent children from hard places, but she also backed up those tools with the science on why they are effective. Parenting is difficult and stressful and overwhelming under the best of circumstances. Parenting a child with a capital letter syndrome or a child from a hard place is all of those things and on top of all that, it can be isolating. Through her classes, podcasts, blogs, videos, conferences, and advice Kathleen has helped me to look at my child’s behaviors in a new way. She has helped me to change the way I parent and has shown me that I’m not alone. Because of Kathleen’s influence, I have more successes to celebrate in the journey of parenting my children."
"Kathleen has such a big heart for helping others in the adoption world! My husband and I had the opportunity to hear her speak at an adoption seminar. I instantly knew she was someone that I could look to for advice on parenting our adopted children. She has wrote helpful suggestions on parenting and also ways to help take care of myself during the trying times. I enjoy how scripture and reflection are part of anything she writes!"
Adoptive and Foster Parent
Ready to learn some new tips "instead of" traditional parenting?