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You're Pregnant, be FULLY PRESENT!

So, I remember what I got my first pregnancy test back. I was filled with so much joy, excitement and overflowing with emotions! I remember grabbing the test after thinking that maybe just maybe there could be a little person starting to grow on the inside. I ran to take it I waited for the results. And it seems like I stared at it for what was forever! I wasn’t sure what to think as agonized over the two lines showing up and telling me if I was pregnant or not. I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what might happen if they did. I was so excited for the pregnancy to be real and yet wasn’t sure if I was ready to handle such an adjustment in my life and so many things I had not experienced before. As I waited, and waited, and waited I finally saw the results... As I looked at the lines begin to show the first one came in clearly and then slowly another appeared. I am pregnant! Wow! Wow! Wow! As I begin to stare in all and excitement at the results, I blinked a few times not sure I was seeing it correctly. I was ready to take another just to be sure. I was happy and scared all at the same time. Now what? That was the first thing that came to my mind. After the initial shock and excitement... I thought “What next?”

We have so many things pulling for our attention. I remember the confusion and worry.

Take a moment, breath and STOP. Be mindful of what you need, how you feel and do what will support you best in this journey of pregnancy and birth.

We often look to others to find our footing and our frame of reference for peace and power.

Here are seven rules to create your own personal pregnancy and pumpkin birth filled with peace and power. Rule the journey ahead


Find out what you like by doing an evaluation. Understand what brings you pain, what brings you joy and how to bring more of what you want into your pregnancy. When meeting with moms we specifically go over a guided series of questions that answer and bring to the forefront information about you and how you handle pain and work best in situations. It is a huge jumping-off point for us that allows everything that we do to be tailored around your likes and dislikes. Many people would say this is 90% of the struggle with pregnancy and birth. Becoming aware and respectful of likes and dislikes.

Once you’re aware it is extremely important as mentioned before to be respectful of your newfound knowledge. I suggest with moms as we review the findings to decide and choose which things they want to focus on. If it is certain things that they eat, or where, or are fearful about or looking forward to while in delivery acknowledging and choosing what to adjust in life to make these outcomes more favorable. Therefore it brings a level of power and accomplishments quickly and simply. Don’t get me wrong making choices and decisions are not extremely easy, yet when you become aware of the options you have and how they best fit with your desired outcome, the path becomes a bit clearer on your journey to delivery and holding your newborn.

As you begin to make these changes it will present to you the need to look at each choice with the understanding that there may need to be additional adjustments. A direction you chose to take possibly a certain eating plan or exercise regiment was not what was best for you or there have been changes in your pregnancy status. Maybe you’ve gone from a low-risk to high-risk pregnancy or have gone from a high-risk to low-risk pregnancy as you can shift in a different direction. It is extremely important to continue to take a step back, relax and look at your situation from a bird’s-eye view. By that I mean not so close to the situation or involved in your emotions, yet taking a clear(as possible) view of the situation and determine if your original choices were best or if they need to be changed in some way or even reaching out if help is needed to shift or address some areas.

This topic cannot be overlooked. Too often we allow others, social media and ourselves to negatively speak about our physical appearance, behaviors and emotional strength. We have a choice as to how we feel and in what way we except, reject or create our personal vision. I find this section to be extremely important because we are not only caring for ourselves yet we are passing our beliefs and behaviors on, to the little one growing inside. Starting now is the time to encourage yourself. Whether it is reading books on who you are, like the Bible, which is encouraging, uplifting and reminds us that we were created for a definitive and important purpose or it is writing yourself love letters, special notes possibly even sticky notes for mirrors or notebooks, places where you will look and remember to tell yourself how special you are how unique you are how there is no other individual like you and why you will be an amazing mom. Many have found encouragement in my book Pregnancy Prayers Vol. 1, through its scriptures and prayers of support. I encourage you to enjoy and share a copy as well. Take the scriptures and messages within the book to uplift you each day and allow you to feel supported, remember you are not on this journey alone. You are unique and special created for such a time as this. Your child is blessed to have you.

As we begin to personalized your experience it is of the utmost importance that you begin to listen to your body. Not just hear the information you find on the internet and receive from your position. It is now time to take moments of rest. It is time to breathe and listen to what your body is telling you. If you are too busy working, taking care of others or researching your upcoming delivery you will have a difficult time being in the moment. Staying present in your pregnancy and feeling all that is happening within your body, through your body and for you and your baby’s body. Not only is it important to listen to your body but also your mind and your spirit. Many moms I feel have issues, as I did, with depression in relation to pregnancy because of feelings of abandonment and isolation. To give yourself support it is imperative to listen when you see you are beginning to feel very lonely and unable to talk to others or unable to spend time with others. It is time to reach out and connect. Now, I also included listening as I have found many times we are giving unsolicited advice as pregnant moms a mother’s that we find completely unnecessary and at times even offensive. Allow yourself to hear the love was in the message and work towards listening to those that are applicable and hold true for you.

Making sure that we building rest is imperative. One of my favorite guest on the #askTomesha Show season one was the amazing Ms. Patrice Jackson. We talked about being a savvy Mom and the need to rest and actually scheduling in rest. When we take the time to make ourselves a priority it allows for everything else that we are connected to and involved with to be better, to shine brighter and to come together. When you allow yourself to rest you can see things a bit more clearly it allows all of your planning and can even allow your fears to subside without rest and you are unable two fully comprehend what is happening around you. It makes everything harder to discern and understand. Emotionally you become easily angered, disturbed, cranky and just plain unbearable! Give yourself the gift of relaxation and rest. Go to the spa and have a few things done like a manicure, pedicure or a massage. These would be fabulous! If you can take the time for a long bath or extended shower, go for it! Small moments of rest and peace for yourself to give your mind a break and allow your limbs to rest and not be active on social media are priceless. Use the techniques we learn and practice in childbirth class and create your moments of peace.

Choose to be grateful for each and everything that you have as the Bible says tomorrow is not promised. Birth is a sacred and life-changing adventure. Don't take it for granted each moment is special and unique and often does it return.
I remember with each of my little-loved ones I was extremely excited 4 moments, mementos and Milestones. Although I was not always excited, sometimes glossed over it and did not pay much attention to the Monday until it was too late. Sometimes you don't notice but they are growing up way faster than expected. Don't let that moment pass you by. Even though the swollen ankles, elevated blood pressure or continuous doctor's appointment and monitoring can be frustrated know that it's most likely not forever, just for a time. This is a season of growth and change that will not be forever. Take time each day to write down what you're grateful for I love sitting with my mom's when we do childbirth education class and talk through what we are grateful for during pregnancy. It's encouraging for each of us to hear what is happening what may be challenging and what may have been overcome recently. There are joyful things throughout each pregnancy at times we have to play detectives to find them, yet the clues are always there. It's a joy searching them out together.

Until next time.

Be blessed,

Discover motherhood in Peace and Power. - #askTomesha


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