Have you always found yourself helping others, even since childhood? Are you the one your friends and family always go to for advice? Or maybe you work in a helping profession such as a mental health worker, first responder, or other service-related industry? If so, you have probably found that giving all day is draining and leaves you with little energy left for your relationship at the end of the day. And now it’s taking its toll on your once happy, passionate love life. What happened? As the expression goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” When you feel burnt out and stressed, and worse yet, misunderstood by your partner, your mutual happiness eventually suffers. This quiz is a quick, easy way to get a snapshot of where you are at now, so we can get you on the road to a healthier, happier relationship.

I use the Gottman method, as well as my own personal experience, to help couples struggling with relationship issues. The Gottman technique is a unique, practical approach developed by Dr. John Gottman, who studied "Master Couples" for decades in love labs at the University of Washington. It focuses on re-building connection and communication through awareness. Since researching his methods and working with helper couples extensively I realized — helpers love differently! By taking this short quiz, you discover how being a helper, either personally or professionally, affects your relationship in ways you might not realize. Shared awareness is the first step to healing. Now, let’s get started building your dream relationship with your partner today! First, complete the quiz below on your own, then ask your partner to do the same. Some Tips: Don’t second guess your answers, trust your first instincts. Frame your answers within the last 6 months. At least one of you should be a helper, (but it may also be both of you!)

Scores:

0-4 YES: Your relationship has many strengths. Be proud! Many of the couples Gottman considers “Master Couples” fall into this category. Pay attention to any areas of concern that came up to continue keeping your love strong.

5-8 YES: Your relationship has been strained. You and your partner may have many issues such as finances, ongoing trust issues, physical intimacy, etc. It’s important to start working with someone who is Gottman trained to learn how to improve areas where you are struggling and learn how to maintain the strengths in the relationship.

9-10 YES: Your relationship is struggling. This is probably not news to you. If you’re ready to make a change and willing to commit to the work, it’s time to go full throttle and learn how to save your relationship before it’s too late. It would be beneficial to have a neutral third party at this level to work through Gottman counseling or Gottman coaching.

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